EXCLUSIVE: Inside the Mayweather-Pacquiao Negotiations, Or Something Like That

(Las Vegas, Nevada.  The Cruelest Sport has managed to infiltrate Top Rank offices to eavesdrop on the Floyd Mayweather Jr-Manny Pacquiao negotiations. Bob Arum and Richard Schaefer passed the time thumb wrestling while waiting for a conference call.  Arum won all three matches.  Twice, he beat Schaefer by pulling the old “Your shoelace is untied trick.”   Eventually, Floyd Mayweather, Leonard Ellerbe, and Manny Pacquiao are connected via speaker phone.  The negotiations are joined in progress.)

Mayweather:  Say you want it, Manny!  Say you want it!

Arum: Manny doesn’t have to say anything, Floyd, this isn’t a forum for your obnoxious—

Mayweather (interrupting): Let Manny talk, Bob!  Let him talk!  If he wants some of this, if he wants the ass whippin’ of a lifetime, let him stand up and say so!  He ain’t your puppet.  You’re trying to make him a puppet like you tried with me, but it didn’t work.  I kicked your geriatric ass to the curb and made more money in two fights than I did in my whole career with you.  All roads lead through Floyd Mayweather!

Arum:  Why, you little prick!   If you were around 35 years ago I would have shot you in a rocket across Snake River Canyon instead of Evel Knievel!

Mayweather:  Say you want it Manny!

Pacquiao: That is up to Bob Arum.  I just want to be a good champion and make the Filipino people proud of me.

Mayweather: See?  What did I tell you?  Manny Pacquiao is the fighter and every time someone asks him if he wants to fight me, he says it is up to my promoter …I have yet to hear him actually say, ‘Yes, I want to fight Mayweather.’ We are the fighters and if one fighter is talking about fighting another fighter, then they should just come out and say it. Manny Pacquiao doesn’t say anything directly about fighting me because he might just know it’s not a fight he can win.

Schaefer:  Gentlemen, please, as you know, Oscar De La Hoya recently called me the smartest man in boxing ever, and I think if you will just let me—

Arum: How the fuck can you be the smartest man in boxing, Richard, when you aren’t even the smartest man in a bathroom stall when you’re taking a dump?

Schaefer: That is very funny, Bob.  Ha.  I keep you young and you keep me sharp.

Mayweather: Manny didn’t say it, he didn’t say it, so why should I fight him?  I’m number one pound-for-pound in the world, baby, and Manny Pacquiao is afraid to say he wants to fight me.  Why should we force him to do something he doesn’t want to do?  He ain’t pound-for-pound, he’s a quarter-pounder with cheese.  That’s all he is.  He’s chasin’ me, remember that, I don’t have to chase nobody.

Pacquiao:  Buboy, please hold the phone closer to my ear.

Schaefer:  This kind of talk is counterproductive.  Remember, no longer are we the sport of smoky back rooms.

Mayweather:  If this fight’s going to happen, and, let me tell you right now, dead up, it’ll be one of my easiest fights, I need to hear Manny say he wants it, I need to weigh 147 pounds, and I need a 60-40 split.  Period.

Arum: 60-40? That’s music to my ears. If I start hearing 60-40  that just tells me to hang up and move on to the next guy.

Ellerbe: Now why would you do a thing like that, Bob?

Arum: Fuck 60-40!  Not only that, but Freddie Roach will probably want some concessions on the weight.

Mayweather: No, no, I fought The Big Show at Wrestlemania and he was over 300 pounds and I knocked his ass out, so how come Manny don’t want to fight me at welterweight.  I’m not weighing no less than 147 pounds on the button.  No less.

Schaefer:  Floyd, that will not be a problem.  We will announce to the world that the fight will be at a catchweight of 143 pounds and then you will be allowed to ignore it and weigh in at whatever you feel comfortable.

Arum: Your last name should be schlemiel, not Schafer!

Mayweather: So I can come in at junior middleweight?

Schaefer:  Yes, that is perfectly acceptable.  As the smartest man in boxing ever, I know how to swindle the public.  I have done it before and I will do it again.  Remember, I am a banker at heart.

Arum:  No one is weighing in at junior middleweight and Floyd won’t be getting a 60-40 cut!

Pacquiao:  Buboy, please hold the phone closer to my ear.

Ellerbe: Let me make something clear: Floyd Mayweather Jr. is running the show.  He is the attraction.  Remember, he drew 1 million buys for his last Pay-Per-View.  This is a tangible figure not—just some – -

Arum:  Manny drew more than that three weeks ago!  Are you out of your mind?  Are you out of your fucking mind?

Ellerbe: Bob, of course Manny generated more buys; he was fighting a legitimate opponent, Miguel Cotto, who has a solid record as an attraction.  Floyd, on the other hand, fought Juan Manuel Marquez, who was nothing more than an old, blown-up featherweight.  Naturally, the public would rather see legitimate match-ups, but they way we played it, and with Floyd being a crossover pop culture figure, we still drew a million buys. Also, when you are talking internationally, Floyd did the largest pay-per-view ever in England with over a million buys against Ricky Hatton and Pacquiao and Hatton did under 300,000 buys.  And that was after Pacquiao had beaten Oscar De La Hoya.  The people love Floyd in England even though he gave everyone the finger and didn’t shut up for more than thirty seconds.

Arum: Nobody loves Floyd!

Ellerbe: It’s not one manager’s opinion, not one promoter’s opinion. The numbers don’t lie. If your argument is that you did a better number based on the Cotto fight, all you have to do is ask yourself this question: clearly, Cotto has a much better pay-per-view pedigree as evidenced by the success he has had on HBO pay-per-view in a number of high-profile fights with high-profile fighters such as Antonio Margarito, “Sugar” Shane Mosley and Zab Judah. Cotto has been the A side in every one of those fights.

Arum (shouting): Manny was in Time Magazine!!!

Mayweather:  I spanked the shit out of Marquez, do I get credit for that?  Do I get credit for that?  Manny runs around eatin’ my leftovers- – like Ricky Hatton and Oscar De La Hoya–and gets mad credit, but when I smack down a fighter who he barely beat, who he got a draw with, people want to knock my hustle!

Arum: He was a featherweight, for crying out loud!

Mayweather:  Did I or did I not smack that ass?  I got swag, kid, I got swag.

Arum: All you got’s a big mouth and a Segway! I think Cotto probably beats Mayweather. I think Manny probably beats Mayweather and I think Mosley beats Mayweather. I think Shane Mosley, because of his style, has the best chance to beat Mayweather.

Mayweather:  Cotto?  Why should I fight Cotto?  He already lost to Margarito.  And Mosley has lost five times.  I never lost a fight and I never will!  Show me your zero, Manny!  Where is your zero?  It’s a easy fight for me, don’t get me wrong, I’m just sayin’ Manny isn’t on my level.  Give me a 70-30 split and I might fight him.

Arum:  70-30?  What happened to 60-40?  You’ll get 70-30 the minute the Mayan doomsday scenario comes true!   The fight that should be made is Mayweather and Shane Mosley. But Mayweather won’t take that fight. He won’t take any fight where there is any possibility where he might lose. Money is secondary with him. He will not take a chance like a normal fighter. He cares more about his legacy and being able to retire undefeated, so he could say that he never lost a fight.

Schaefer:  I was the first to put a big fight in movie theaters….

Arum (mumbling): What a fucking moron…

Schaefer: …and my new idea is this: we will put the fight in movie theaters again and this time, it will be in 3-D!

(Complete silence for 30 seconds.)

Pacquiao:  Buboy, please hold the phone closer to my ear.

Ellerbe: Umm, Richard, don’t you think that might be a little ostentatious, not to mention anachronistic?  When I think of 3-D I think of Vincent Price in the House of Wax.

Schaefer:  Arachnophobia?  As a child in Switzerland I was afraid of spiders, but no longer. I did not know Vincent Price feared spiders as well, but I remember when he turned into a fly once.

Arum: Richard, did you ever lock yourself, by accident, into one of your own bank vaults?

Schaefer: No, but as a child I almost drowned in a rain puddle one summer near Lake Constance.

Mayweather: All Manny has to do is say he wants the fight and…

Pacquiao (interrupting):  I want to fight Floyd Mayweather.

Mayweather:  You what????  You want to…How can I fight you when you’re on steroids?  Man, my daddy told me you’re on the juice, so why should I fight you now?  I’m all natural, son, 100% “Money May.”  I don’t need to fight no Jose Canseco.  I’ll fight Mosley instead.

Pacquiao:  I want to fight Floyd Mayweather in May.  First I want to be involved in politics.

Mayweather (quickly): I want to fight in March, so I guess we’ve got constricting schedules!

Arum: Look, we have a chance to put together the biggest event in boxing in maybe twenty years.

Schaefer:  Oscar just sent me a text.  It says, “Tell Bob that he will not be able to order a small ring like he did in Vegas for the Pacquiao-Cotto fight.  Tell him we demand a 20 foot ring, at least.”  This is odd…it appears as if Oscar spelled “demand” wrong.

Arum:  All rings in Nevada are 20 feet!  It’s the standard!  Oscar fought in Las Vegas how many times?   He’s supposed to be president of Golden Boy and he doesn’t know what size the rings are in Vegas?

Ellerbe: Floyd will beat Manny no matter what Oscar De La Hoya does not know.

Arum: If we can’t come to some sort of agreement soon, within a few days, I’ll put Manny in against an aspiring rabbi, and that’s not the start of a limerick.

Mayweather:  Put him in against the rabbi!  Put him!  If I fought a rabbi, I wouldn’t hear the last of it.  Let Manny fight a rabbi and I’ll go fight an archbishop!

Schaefer:  Bob, you think you are so smart.  But I have a fighter– David Howe—who is more charismatic than Ali and I have a “fist bump” agreement with Floyd Mayweather Jr.  Also, at any time, Golden Boy Promotions can lure Oscar De La Hoya out of retirement so he can be pummeled into submission by a bantamweight in an mega event that will break all pay-per-view records.

Mayweather: By the way, Richard, do you think the next time I fight that the entire Golden Boy front office, I mean Mosley and gargoyle Hopkins, will cut me some slack and not heckle me in public?

Schaefer: As the smartest man in boxing ever, Floyd, I give you my word.

Arum: This whole meeting is a bridge to nowhere!

Ellerbe:  Bob, maybe we’ll just go over to England and fight Ricky Hatton’s brother.  What’s his name, Trevor?  Fighting Trevor Hatton will be a feather in the cap of the pound-for-pound best in the world.

Pacquiao:  It will be a great honor to fight Floyd Mayweather, but first I must beat Roy Chiongbian.

Mayweather:  Where’s your zero at, Manny?  Where’s your zero?!?

Schaefer: Hilfe!

Pacquiao: Buboy, please hold the phone—

(The tape runs out.)

Real Quote Sources: The Sweet Science.com, ESPN.com, Boxingscene.com